Letters of Recommendation???

I was a youth pastor for a few years back near the turn of the century. Once in a while one of my “youth groupers” would ask for a letter of recommendation for one thing or another, so though I don’t love writing, I would try to make something up to help them out. Here is what I gave Kelly as a first draft near the deadline of her scholarship application.

“To Whom it May Concern,
My name is Charlie Walker and I am a youth pastor and part-time construction worker. I’m writing you to share a few things about Kelly. She is a great gal. I have known her for about 8 yrs (years). She is very nice. She has a boyfriend. He is very nice two. He comes to youth group and plays the games real good. His little brother is weird. He talks to himself on his paper route. I once had a paper route. I had to ride my bike no matter what the weather was like. That’s why I’m so strong now. But not as strong as Kelly’s dad. But I think my dad could have beat him up! My dad died 5 or 6 yrs (years) ago down in Kentucky. My grandma lives there now and has a really nice trailer house. I like to sit out back and listen to the bugs at night. Charlene’s bugs are cool but they don’t make any sounds. I should go now. Kelly is a really nice girl.
P.S. Don’t talk to her about sex it makes her red and giggly.”

Since I wrote this letter my writing skills have gotten even gooder… so… If you ever need someone to make you sound good – let me know and I’ll see what I can do.